Three - Seconds Before Awakening

"Three" Seconds Before Awakening's new release has 3 ambient tracks with a run time of 72 minutes. You can d/l the mp3's at http://secondsbeforeawakening.com/dreamscapes.html

Tracklist:
1. Three 1
2. Three 2
3. Three 3

A Day Before Tomorrow - Synthetic Mind Decay

The new release by Synthetic Mind Decay called "A Day Before Tomorrow" is now available to d/l for free. It's an EP and run time about 42 minutes of ambient stuff


1. A Day Late
2. Night Of Silent Regret
3. Tomorrow Begins

here is the link http://syntheticminddecay.com/music

enjoy

Crawling Across Your Skin - Synthetic Mind Decay

Track list:

1. Frost Captures The Harvest
2. Crawling Across Your Skin
3. Entombed In Limestone
4. Empty Existence
5. Hidden Inside
6. Guilt Within Regret Aside
7. Unearthed
8. Acres Of Waste
9. After Thoughts

Run time : over 67 minutes

d/l the mp3 files here

Seconds Before Awakening "Two"

"Two" Seconds Before Awakening's new release has 2 ambient tracks with a run time of over 54 minutes. You can d/l the mp3's at http://secondsbeforeawakening.com/dreamscapes.html

Tracklist:
1. Two 1
2. Two 2

Synthetic Mind Decay - The Evolving Path of Life

The Evolving Path of Life contains 8 ambient tracks and the run time is just over 73 minutes. you can d/l the album for free at http://syntheticminddecay.com/music

Tracklist:
1. Conception
2. Fascination
3. Transformation
4. Meditation
5. Deception
6. Rejection
7. Desperation
8. Suffocation

Synthetic Mind Decay - Lost Beyond Imagination

Tracklist:

1. Life Interrupted By The Growth Of Ivy Over The Door
2. An Obvious Detour To Oblivion
3. A War Within Corrupted By External Darkness
4. Passing Through The Gates With A Sense Of Entitlement
5. Hidden Somewhere Between The World And The Lost
6. When Everything Just Disappears

Download it at http://wwwsyntheticminddecay.com/music

All tracks written, produced & mixed by Michael S. Waller
Photo & Artwork by Michael S. Waller

Synthetic Mind Decay - The Rise & Fall

New EP "The Rise & Fall" by Synthetic Mind Decay is now available for free download at http://syntheticminddecay.com/music.html

The EP has 2 ambient tracks and the run time is just over 41 minutes

Tracklist:

1. The Rise
2. The Fall

what do you support?

when you support the catholic church you support the molestation of children you also support the loss of a child's innocence

when you vote you support the raping of the truth by a politician you also support the death of many innocent people

how do you sleep at night? is it the alcohol that knocks you out or the prescription pills?



this post was brought to you by the people who give a fuck 2008

unpure

Every night I dream I can save the world from it's self
Every day the harsh reality sets in
The war, the oil, the diamonds, the famine
They feast on profit
The money green with blood
Drunk with power soldiers of a unseen war
Death only a truth to those have seen it up close
Fear is more than a word, its way of life
Cut from the landscape the river swells with blood
Soil covers the life that has past by in a 15 second sound bite
Struggling to survive as the price of a barrel is gouged
Prime real estate top dollar foreclosed and the markets swing
With open eyes one can see the bottom
The unfortunate situation is no one is looking in the right direction
Every day another wasted life turns into another wasted day
Last days of innocence forgotten under the unpure

fear

you fear your god
you fear your death
you fear your peers
you fear your lies

you fear the pain
you fear the hunger
you fear the hate
you fear the sorrow

you fear your treasure
you fear your mind
you fear your silence
you fear your world

you fear the end
you fear the truth
you fear the anger
you fear the yourself

Seconds Before Awakening - Zero released

It's official Seconds Before Awakening "Zero" has been released you can download it at http://secondsbeforeawakening.com

Seconds Before Awakening is a dream like space ambient project. the release includes 5 tracks with a running time of 1:18:22

the track list:
Zero 1
Zero 2
Zero 3
Zero 4
Zero 5

no matter how beautiful a flower is the flower will eventually die. yet, if the flower is not behind a fence the flower can be seen and enjoyed by those who walk by...

the flower is there you just haven't noticed it. go back and see how good life can be...

welcome

welcome darkness a welcome sight
screaming silence never heard
constant fighting blind with fear
followed leaders to the grave

tired moving on
so much nothing
sponsored by everything
laughter echoes into hollow graves

reflections staring windows
holding back shattered time
constant chatter crushed by fear
followed dreams rest in graves

PSA

DON"T shop at or use Rite (wrong) Aid pharmacy they have horrible customer service and can NOT refill prescriptions proper...

go somewhere else save your time and money your patience will benefit. trust me i wouldn't lie to you.

if you are a share holder complain to the CEO and chairman Mary F. Sammons let her know how lousy of a company she is running and ask for you $2.00 back per share and play lotto your chances are better making money with a scratch off then investing in Wrong Aid...

btw they also own Brooks and Eckerd Drugs

thanks for reading this PSA

good-bye 2007... hello 2008

Welcome To Zero - Synthetic Mind Decay

PSA

The Lifting Of The Veil

synthetic mind decay's new album "The Lifting Of The Veil" is now available to d/l for free at www.syntheticminddecay.com/music

the lifting of the veil

"the lifting of the veil" the new CD by synthetic mind decay is coming soon it can be downloaded for free at http://www.syntheticminddecay.com/music

you can now preview and d/l the track called "Embracing The Darkness" at http://syntheticminddecay.com/embracing_the_darkness.mp3

stay tuned for more details...

cheers
synthetic mind decay

photo synthesis 1.6

i used to think that being invisible was a dream. now everyday it seems to be more like reality...

where did everyone go?

you all seemed to disappear? was i asleep when you left? did ignore your wave good-bye?

may the roads we travel meet up once again...hope to see you soon.

cheers



this will be the last post for a while check out http://www.syntheticminddecay.com for music and news updates about current & future projects

=
<...::...>
/ \

synthesis 7.4

one day in the life of Aaron.

poop poop, wakes up to fly.
food left, the streets a sty
back and forth wading thru debris
brave and he steps close to me

up on the wire or a tree
a flight into this after
plotting the next mission
a bombing run target was not me

the race relaxes it's feet
night drags across the sky
dance to the silence a different beat
closes eyes poop poop it all seems justified

synthesis 7.3

©2007

synthesis 7.2

©2007

synthesis 7.1

©2007

synthesis 7.0

see you in hell???

whatever your beliefs i shall not question...
but i do want to say this...
if there is a hell (which i doubt there is)
could it be any worse than this shit hole that we created?
actually let me rephrase that...
could it be any worse than this beautiful planet that we destroyed and made a shit hole?
look at all the plastic people, all the hate, all the filth, all the back stabbing, all the war...should i continue?
if your god created us in the likeness of himself then, he must be satan...
and i really can't see hell being any worse...it would probably be a picnic compared to this.

just my thoughts

see you in hell or should i say see ya tomorrow?

synthesis 6.9

©2007

synthesis 6.8

©2007

what gives us the right?????????

why do exterminate cockroaches (Periplaneta americana)?

is it because they spread diseases?
or because they are filthy?
or because there is too many of them?
or because they take what is not theirs?
or because they are pests?

i just thought that was an interesting question...you may continue on with the rest of your life...thanks for stopping by.

synthesis 6.7

©2007

synthesis 6.6

©2007

synthesis 6.5

©2007

what is empty?

a void between four walls?
a feeling that can't be described?
a theater hours after the movie ended?
a song with no beginning or end?
the truth staring in the eyes of darkness?
a scream from a silent voice?
a shadow hung on a iron fence?
a smile that no one will ever see?
a spoon at the bottom of a bowl?
a world of billions with no time to talk?
a cry for help that hasn't shed a tear?
a window closed to keep the cool air in?
a name scribbled on a paper left on the floor?
a web page with no code, text or image?
a question with no answer?
a life with no meaning?
a time to forget?
a memory to erase?
a beginning to what will end?
a word that stars with an "E" and ends with a "Y"?

synthesis 6.4

synthesis 6.3

©2007

synthesis 6.2

©2007

synthesis 6.1

©2007

not a dream but, a dreamer...

So in this world of believers and those who fail to question I bring you my words, the words of a dreamer, a nonbeliever. While you sleep and dream about your daily conflicts that you couldn't bare to witness during the day, here I am typing some random thoughts that are keeping me from dealing with my unsolved conflicts.

A dreamer on top of a building claiming he can fly without wings, feathers or a tail looks down upon witnesses that talk about how confused and delusional he is. They whisper and point calls made to the proper authorities who try to convince this man, this dreamer that his dreams are not real. They smash his hopes to feel free to fly, to feel the wind on his skin, to see the world as you or I will never see. Above the clouds along the tree tops above the smog and tasting freedom in flight.

Now that the dream is over those who fail to question and just believe what they have been told start to ask this man questions..."why? What makes you think that you could fly? You have no feathers you have no wings and we see no tail what makes you think you can fly?" they ask.

"I am a dreamer" the man speaks in a soft but, confident voice. "So, in your dreams you can fly...what makes you think you can fly in the real world?" the doctors ask. "Can you prove I am not sleeping?" he asked. The team of doctors looked at each other confused and walked outside the room. One walked back in and says to the man "you are suffering from delusions, which could become dangerous to you or someone else...I am sorry but we are going to have to keep you here for further observations".

Certainly the above is not based on any true story that I am aware of...but, who is to say that a story like it has not ever happened? My point is that if there were no dreamers what chances would any of use ever take? I find it amusing that it would take a few doctors to analyze this man and they would all probably label him as insane and unfit to walk around in public. Really, imagine if you will, if he said he had an imaginary friend...they would lock him up and throw away the key, correct? but think for one minute...no really stop reading this for a minute but before you do, think about this... people every day talk to someone that is not there...asking for a blessing, asking for forgiveness, asking to bring the boys back home, asking for world peace, asking for strength, asking for health in time of sickness, asking for power to overcome fears, asking for the right person to walk through the door, asking for money to put food on the table...yet, someone with a dream to fly or someone who has an imaginary friend are the people who are questioned and held for further tests. I dunno but it seems to me if you are going to question one thing why not question all things?

You can believe what you want...and I will do the same. But one thing I will ask if you are still reading this...why don't you just believe in yourself? You hold all what you are asking for. You are the one who holds the key. The door is in front of you, for you to open...are you afraid of what is behind the door? Are you afraid of the answers to the question you really want to ask? It’s ass 30 in the morning and I am typing this for you to read...I hope you get something out of it.

I probably question too much. I should just accept what is and move forward...for me I see the good and bad of every situation. Question everything...

did you think about it? Well you can stop thinking now...I’ll think for you. Oh wait the government will think for you...just remember to obey them since they are the ones you voted into office. You are the one who gave them control over how you will live your life...oh wait the politician you voted for lost...you don't agree this person’s politics at all do you?

So what do you think the percentage of dreamers to doers to leaders to followers are in this world? Why is this world so scornful to people who think different from the norm? Would this be a better world if everyone thought exactly like you? And if your answer is no. maybe there is something you should correct in your life...if you said yes what a boring world this would be!

Wait...I said to stop thinking... no need to answer the above questions...

OK it's almost twice o'clock in the morn...maybe I should get some sleep...maybe I should ask you for some help to sleep...you never know, you might be a dog or something...

well, the revolution has begun if you came this far...spread the word...believe in yourself and have fun, life isn't easy but you could at least walk around with a smile...

synthesis 6.0

©2007

the only injustice is not being heard...

think small and the world will hear you...think big the world will shut the doors and close the windows...loud works well in small groups...quiet is better for the world...

close your eyes there's nothing to see

close your eyes you have seen enough
dream of peace...
dream of sunshine...
dream of a world where love is your friend...

close your eyes the darkness is upon you
dream of an endless sky...
dream of grass that is green...
dream of a life where love is holding you close

the innocence is gone
the innocence is lost
there is nothing to see
when you dream, dream of a life that could be.

synthesis 5.9

©2007

synthesis 5.8

©2007

lifting of the veil

the darkness beneath the veil
the scars are the lies
frightened skin turns pale.

the shutter of light now off in the distance
quickly covers the sky
entombs our existence.

their knees, bruised and battered
lifting of the veil
darkness of their world, now shattered.

with no one to listen the emptiness can echo
the last known life under ashes
rise above and continue to grow...

synthesis 5.7

©2007

synthesis 5.6

©2007

synthesis 5.5

©2007

do mind synthesis v009

Delusion

Synthetic Mind Decay's New Album "Delusion" is now available!!! Download it here

Delusion Tracklist:

1. Illusion
2. Unanswered
3. Out Here Alone
4. Casting An Empty Shadow
5. Lake Effect
6. Delusion

synthesis 5.4

©2007

synthesis 5.3

©2007

synthesis 5.2

©2007

synthesis 5.1

©2007

synthesis 5.0

©2007

you must succeed in life before you succeed in death...

just one of my thoughts from today 051607

a friend knows how to make a friend laugh when they are feeling down...a good friend knows how to listen when they don't laugh...

just one of my thoughts from today 051507

every minute you sleep is better for the mind and body which, in turn gives you a better life yet, every minute you sleep is another minute missed out on life around you...

just one of my thoughts from today 051407

strength is knowledge and knowledge is a key to life...when you acknowledge that your mind is stronger than your enemy's, your enemy is no longer your enemy because you have the knowledge to rise above the small things that will continue to hold your enemy down...

runoff

you are the pollution at the bottom of the river
you are the smoke that clouds the sky
you are the cancer that mutates each cell
you are the creator of your own hell

you are the waste that has made a mountain
you are the chemicals that you call food
you are the violence that spreads to a child's hand
you are the inventor of the machine that spoils this land

you are the war that has spilt so much blood
you are the gun that shot their son dead
you are the hate that rains down each day
you are the liberator of freedom that is slowly fading away

you are the wealth that starves the poor
you are the cheat that sneaks behind closed doors
you are the fire that was deliberately set
you are the investor that forecloses on your neighbors debt

you are the father who stole the innocence
you are the ignorance that falls to it's knees
you are the sweatshop that made your Sunday's best
you are the sinner who lies when they confess

you are the runoff that's in the water you drink
you are the rubbish that fills your unopened mind
you are the wounds that you try to cover with gauze
you are the personality with too many flaws

synthesis 4.9

©2007

synthesis 4.8

©2007

FYI

05-06-07

if you are keeping score...

synthesis 4.7

©2007

synthesis 4.6

©2007

synthesis 4.5

©2007

synthesis 4.4

©2007

synthesis 4.3

©2007

synthesis 4.2

©2007

a penguin, a squirrel and some ice cream

i was sitting down minding my own business when this squirrel runs up to me and says " dude yo check it! dat penguin over dere is like all crazy and shit. heez serving ice cream and all yo! i got this cone wit nutz on it see? cuz we squirrelz like da nutz!" and then he runs away??? all i was trying to do was mix my song! so i get back to what i was doing mixing my songs and five minutes later this turtle walks really slow into my living room where i am...and he just looks at me! i mean he got his little turtle eyes staring at me, not saying a word. so a minute or so goes by and i stop mixing my track and i ask this fuckin turtle "what the fuck are you looking at you shell back?" the mother fuckin turtle doesn't say a word. so now i am a little pissed off. cuz he is holding up progress and i stare back at him and this must of went on for 5 to 10 minutes. and finally the turtle blinked...so here i am doing a victory dance in my living room i am all happy and shit. and the turtle farts...i mean he just let one go...now let me be the first one to tell you this...turtles they can fart...and when they fart they can clear a room. then he just gets up and walks slowly out the door as i am gaging from the toxic stench he left me in...so i fling the windows open and this pigeon flies on the window sill and says "damn that turtle can fuck up a room can't he?" and i look at this pigeon and i start to laugh. i don't know why i was laughing? but i do know that i was laughing with a pigeon on my window sill and the window was open cause a turtle farted in my apartment and a squirrel...now wait a minute!!! how did that squirrel and turtle get in my apartment in the first place?? hmmmmm. so the pigeon flies away and she says "see you later alligator." what's going on here? last thing i remember is that the penguin ran over that alligator making a right hand turn while he was speeding around town selling ice cream. old man Johnson was wearing alligator boots because of that day? so i closed the window and i sat back down. the music is playing the moon shaped like a crescent and the night is dark warm and here. tomorrow is now today, good night all the critters is what they say

synthesis 4.1

©2007

synthesis 4.0

©2007

do mind synthesis v008

synthesis 3.9

©2007

do mind synthesis v006

friendship above the clouds

dreams of gold and time a young smile shares the evening flight.
together a friendship a lasting memory never to fade.
what is gold shall shine forever what is grey will fade away.
lost, not to be found the questions need answers,
the shadow is gone a distant memory that disappears with eyes closed.
silence among the lighted sky moon light upon thee
looking down on top of the world a horizon that lives forever.
a bird it's freedom the one above the clouds.
a dream lived more than twice. a life lived a smile.
taking the hand of friendship along the longest miles
amongst the few who watch but never listen.
a keeper of time who walks a line never to understand
looking out the window. the ground below so far so shallow
like the life that once was.
a dream again a smile a reflection a challenge
above but not full of power the minutes though traveled an hour.
sunset hours before a sunrise sometime soon.
the frozen lake again breathes the life of spring.
the chill is gone the hours no longer drag.
a fresh new start a new life to begin in a place
footsteps on new ground a imprint to last
styles amongst the freedom a seat to rest the tired.
going home for some a trip for others sleep now talk share dream
listen watch it won't be to long.
the song plays returning the memories of all that is well.
oh the well...yes that well it's no longer dry.
the water level has risen. the well won't run dry
work for a few again back here we are. echoing the dreams
a dream i share with you. a dream that could make no sense
a life that means more to me that it did before.
share the gift of friendship. it's a gift that keeps on giving.
my thank you to you, you helped open a eye that was blind
or maybe it was just closed?
anyway i can see again thanks for wiping the shit away...
or was it i that wiped it away?
and it was because of you that i had the coverage.
friendship what i thought was a hard journey in life was
right next to me waiting to shake my hand.
tonight it was discovered that dreams do come true may all of yours come true..
thank you for listening...

do mind synthesis v004

do mind synthesis v003

dying ocean

in a world of complete chaos there is an equal reaction to all that seems to be chaotic with all that is calm and collective and in this chaotic world there is a dying ocean...may you rise with the tide...

synthesis 3.8

©2007

synthesis 3.7

©2007

synthesis 3.6

©2007

synthesis 3.5

©2007

random thoughts about a garden 0.5

one could sit above a bucket and shit in it or one could kick the bucket of shit over and use that shit as fertilizer to grow a beautiful garden...and when the garden bares it's fruit one could live off the garden that he/she has nurtured and be proud of that garden and if there is enough fruit they could share with those who just decided to shit in the bucket...

time to grow my garden...see ya at harvest...may the harvest moon shine on your back all night long...full and bright.

random email posting 1.0

the following is an excerpt from an email i sent to a friend earlier today. why am i posting it??? i have no clue... maybe because i wanted the world or should i say the 2 or 3 random people that actually look at this blog that the things in life you want so bad and when you don't get them, it actually might be the best thing for you. not having the "good" might not be so bad after all...enjoy

"...one thing i realized is that i can be patient...it took me a year to figure out that i could be...so "twice" was a real learning experience...i learned a lot the last year...didn't get what i wanted but took away a lot of good experiences...so, i guess being on the lake wasn't the worst thing that could of happened...not taking the boat out to the lake would of been the worst thing to do...so here i am...better as a person...better creatively...i am ahead in the game...and it took me till now to figure all this out..."

insanity 1.1.1

insanity is wanting the world to be a better place... a belief that you can change the world... make a world that is good...but being disgusted by what you see and wanting to tear it all down because you know that it won't ever change. knowing that beauty is destruction and the destruction is beauty... all the filth that surrounds you, it sickens your stomach but being able to see the beauty in all the destruction...now that is insanity...

i couldn't have said it better myself...

click here and check out "Happiness"

synthesis 3.4

©2007

i am not you...

am i the fear the lurks in your head?
am i the sadness that rises among the dead?
am i the laughter you feel inside?
am i the loss even though you tried?
am i the blank stare when you look my way?
am i the pain, the burning that won't go away?
am i the cross that you'll never bear?
am i the light behind each glare?
am i the floor that bulges from the weight?
am i the one you hide behind in your transparent state?
am i the hell you pray each night against?
am i the enemy without a defense?
am i the stain that you left behind?
am i the treasure that you'll never find?
am i the trust that you can live without?
am i the lust that you chew and spit out?
am i the lost that you won't seek to find?
am i the voice that corrupts your silent mind?
am i the wisdom that hides from you each and every day?
am i the trash that you just threw away?
am i the friend you pretend that doesn't exist?
am i the hit that you'll never miss?
am i the song that is stuck in your head?
am i the pillow that gets thrown from your bed?
am i the vision that is stuck in your thoughts?
am i the present left on the shelf never to be bought?
am i the word that just slipped your tongue?
am i the man guilty, executed and hung?
am i the dream that woke you up last night?
am i the darkness drowning the light?
am i the honest, the forgotten and the true?
am i the one who is not you?

a broken clock

time is the memory of what could not stand still.
time is the illusion of those who want life to pass on by.
time is the corpse that holds your hand.
time is forgotten when happiness is in control.
time is for those who keep an eye on you.
time is the measurement of all that will not last.
time is the shadow of all that is lost.
time is kept to keep you in check.
time should be forgotten but, we let it take control.
time is up.
time to bring you home.
©2007

photo synthesis 1.5

synthesis 3.3

©2007

synthesis 3.2

©2007

tonight i rest...

i can no longer hold your hand,
a hand without an arm,
an arm without a body,
a body without a heart,
a heart that is silent.
silence is a void in this world,
a world that is deaf and a place,
a place where i can not exist.
existence is, more than a shadow,
a shadow that is cast under the afternoon sun.
the sun will set,
the day will end,
and life moves on.
my hand covered in blood,
my hand covers my heart,
my heart will not bleed tonight.
tonight i rest...

random thought 1.2

a month into 2007 and the song that keeps echoing in my head more than twice is "false hope" i will say this tho... i am feeling better physically...let the machines take control...

btw there are no right or wrong answers on test 1.0...i just want the people that walk (or should it be drive on) this planet to think more often than what they will have for dinner, what clothes they should wear, what bullshit they can get away with etc.

think...what are you going to do next?

me? i am going to bed. good nite!

synthesis 3.1

©2006

Test 1.0

I have 5 questions for you. You won't be graded on it so don't worry. It does count though. Take all the time you need to answer these questions. If you need scrap paper please take some out now. We are using the honour system here so please keep your eyes forward. Are your ready? Let us begin.

1. If you could do anything over in your life would you do it?
a) Yes
b) No

2. If you could have one wish what would it be?

3. What is the one thing in your life that could be better?

4. True or False You are content with what you have?

5. Where were you on the night of August 5 , 2003?

let me ask you this:

if you weren't reading this right now what would you be doing?

would you be on another website?
would you be sending a love one an email?
would you be writing code?
would you be creating digital art?
would you be having your cake?
would you be eating your cake?
would you be listening to cake?
would you be smoking cake?
would you be saving a rain forest?
would you be riding a bicycle?
would you be recycling your trash?
would you be attending a rally?
would you be staring into space?
would you be dreaming about fishing?
would you be questioning your descisions?
would you regret your choices?
would you be sleeping?
would you be watching TV?
would you be reading a book?
would you be playing with your children?

what will you do after you read this?

will you create something new?
will you start to exercise?
will you make a change?
will you you make good use of your time?
will you ask yourself why did i read this?

just remember one thing: enjoy what is around you and enjoy what you do...there are no wrong decisions only outcomes that you didn't expect...and expect nothing. have no regrets.

photo synthesis 1.4

synthesis 3.0

©2007

for the first time...

i have nothing...

no music, no thoughts, no art...

my creativity died...

i can't even think of anything to say...

:(

synthesis 2.9

©2007

here...there...nowhere

somewhere in here...
i lurk next to nowhere...
soon i'll be there...
©2007

quiet reflections

sitting in the middle of a field realizing that the grass here is greener than the other side.
i can hear the birds singing songs of love and peace, yet the world isn't listening.
sitting back watching clouds pass by and a cool breeze helps scatter some thoughts.
the sun breaks each cloud and shines my way, taste of the afternoon so sweet, so alive.
chamber of commerce type day, a picture for a post card to send back home.
heart beating in pace with time that skips on by.
a basket of food, a blanket to stay dry and clean, smiles and laughter.
who can ask for more? tranquility found.
a long fence that runs through the horizon, a sea of grass, each blade cutting into the day.
a lake near by stands quiet, reflections of my surroundings like a painting that i once saw...
©2005

twice twice

not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice.

not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice. not once, but twice.
not once, but twice.

Open 'til exit

The clean smell of smoke fills the air,
My windows are opened.
Tired by the city's sweat I yawn until I can not see,
Open my eyes clear delusion.
What can I promise my self under the wall of wait?
I still breathe in this air.
Silent yes and I belong sitting on an unbroken life.
A chair,
A house,
A tree.
The animals wait to play,
The sea of turning waves crash into an open beach.
Sailing on a coast of gold the night ends with ease.
Captain of my own vessel can you please throw me a rope?
now I am tied to a pier.
Clouds developed as I make the moonlight disappear.
Hold me now don't let me go I see the fear.
Cough out loud,
the shore,
the crowd.
We are now inside the world so broken,
so hollow,
so not there.
But can I live a while without you holding me down,
Stop choking me I have enough,
Please take care and leave.
A step forward and look never back,
I am the hunter who can be hunted.
Wheels in motion and a delivery of notion,
Can I stop for a moment to look at the world?
Standing straight up and look,
Ahead please just let me go.
©2005

photo synthesis 1.3

photo synthesis 1.2

photo synthesis 1.0

a second day in the cold ground

Slowly closing eyes see faces of tomorrow’s day
Winter slowly fading
Wind catches a hold of the light
Separating each golden ray

Hours are the minutes you count every second
Fear that tomorrow will pass
Night watch alert once discouraged
All that tried to beckon

The hope the shallow hole dug into this chemical ground
A window broken as glass reflects
Running faster away from the stone
A ticket on a bus to leave here a desperate town

Winters journey is now through a day set in cold
A fire a jacket a shovel in hand
Endless whistle from over the hill
The young grow tired and stare to sleep awaken tomorrows bold

Awaken 2.0

and he died in bloody puddle of mud...

awaken 1.0

and we'll never know...

synthesis 2.8

©2006

i hope you know the answers...

Who wipes the tears away when you cry?
Who holds your hand when you are scared?
Who listens when you have something to say?
Who watches your back when you aren’t looking?
Who do you run to when you get back home?
Who waits up when you get home late?
Who cares for you when you aren’t feeling well?
Who makes you smile when you are sad?
Who kisses you before you go to sleep?
Who is next to you when it’s time to get up?
Who is it that you trust and tell your secrets?
Who do you call to tell the good news?
Who is it right now that wants to hug you?

If the “who” is all the same person you are probably rich with life. Share your wealth... life is to short to be by yourself. May all your dreams come true…
©2006

random thought 1.0

why is it when you need someone around there is no one there and when you want to be left alone you are stuck between 100 people with nowhere to move? i guess it's a case of i just can't win...so i should get used to it and smile into the mirror of emptiness...

empty stares

I stare into your eyes, but you refuse to see me
Behind your so called disguise, your filth consumes me
Wrapped up in a world of sorrow and so scared to let go
As you drown me without love and this darkness starts to glow.
Sitting on the outside, looking in, facing my paranoia
Slowly fading with each passing moment
My pain is buried below in my roots deep down inside
Away from this window I can’t find a place to hide.

Empty stares and fading smiles
An empty glass full of denial
Drifting away sitting so still
Each dying leaf is my will.

Looking back and I see your failures and your so called reasons
I’m finding it difficult to follow all these seasons
Scared from not knowing the difference of right and wrong
What should I dine on tonight? This night is dragging taking to long
As I fade oh so slowly I try to stare you back
A room with a view yet I’m stuck in this unforgiving trap
In my world piece by piece swimming thru this shit
Looking around, and I’m puzzled that these pieces don’t fit

Empty stares without a smile
This empty glass still full of denial
Wind is cold the cause of this chill
Each dying leaf rests on the window sill.

Lying down on the floor crying you won’t hear no more
Trying to escape but I’m enclosed behind this closed door
Quilt of inner treason sorrow hides the guilt and the reasons
It will scar it won’t heal I just finished my last meal

©2004

looking back at the bottom

i have hit bottom and it is hell...
but, with hell out of the way
you can see the light of a new day
and that is the day to live for!!!
©2006

no regrets

The blood of tomorrow is on my hands today.
Wanting but, not to wish I cleanse myself of these wounds.
I stare at my inner peace which surrounds me as I stand.
Standing tall but, not to shadow.
Confronting but, not confrontational.
Speaking yet listening to the voice inside
telling me which way is home…
no regrets…
none at all.
©2006

soon as things change

soon the sun will set
soon the lake will freeze
where will you be,
when that last leaf falls from that tree?

soon the tide will roll out
soon you'll question what you lost
where will you be,
when winter's chill turns to frost?

soon the taste will be gone
soon the memories will fade
where will you be,
when things change and all turns grey?
©2006

synthesis 2.7

©2006

synthesis 2.6

©2006

dissolution 1.0

every day i dream that i am crazy...that way maybe they would lock me up and i could forget everything that i know and dream of. everyone has issues, problems things that bring them to the borderline yet they seem to carry on with life. they brush aside the bad thoughts the ill will the anger and keep stepping forward. then there are those who turn to drugs, alcohol, violence etc. that is their way out. OK sure it's not at all the best way usually others get hurt in their midst of mayhem but they escaped the world they wanted to tune out of. they will have to pay the consequence's but they have that freedom of escaping at any giving moment. then there is me. tried the drugs and alcohol not a fan of the violence. and the "normal way of letting things go...i can't do. i don't know how to. maybe i wasn't born with that gene maybe it wasn't taught to me. or maybe i was day dreaming again when it was taught???

when i write what's inside of me everyone one thinks its my final note of good-bye. when i speak my mind everyone thinks i am the next to go postal when i compose musically i get no response. when i create my art i just see the faces of reality starring back at me. certainly not your reality but mine.

i want the freedom. i want to escape. for a moment of time any moment i want to be on top of this earth and feel no pain feel no hate to forget the paranoia to walk carefree to feel love to give it back. i dream that i can change the world. that i can make someone see what i see...i should dream of freedom for myself. to change myself. i would give up everything just to LIVE on day of my life. you can have my words, my music my random chaos. i just to breathe one day of freedom. the lake is calm to calm no wind to reflections still. but still not life. my boat capsizing would at least bring change. sure i would be wet cold and alone but is there a difference between dry cold and alone dreaming of a life that will never exist? i guess there is a difference when your wet the first thing you want to do is change. at least to get out of those wet clothes. years have gone by and i still can't decide to sink or swim. i got off the road that i was on. because this lake looked so beautiful. the lake of hope the sign read. again i fell for false hope. i built a world on false hope. all i wanted was to catch that fish. and all i caught was a cold waiting for a bite on the line. i guess i am the only one hungry.
only if i had those voices i could of listened to them. they would of steered me in the right direction... but no voices to listen to.

i have no kingdom i have no hope all i have is this place i call myself and myself is all alone.

love can kill the strong...love that four letter word in so many songs. love is it what we all need? love why would it come back if it was freed?

loneliness is my only friend.

with your back turned innocence was lost...i dream you suffered

May your ring of gold certified with a kiss drag you through the bottom of hell that you brought upon your children. YOU are weak old and frail. Your head on a stick bring to me so I can impale, your faith, your weakness, your shame. Money can't buy you time and money doesn't bring you home.

Sheep they are and you ARE the shepherd that leads the flock to slaughter...blood spilt and a bucket of soap to clean, the dirt and dust swept under the carpet you are. Downward you lean and yet I am the one who is questioned. I am wrong. I am the devil. I am the wrecker of this great society that you turn your fuckin back on!!! Yet, it is me; I am the demise of all that was good!!!! FUCK YOU for you have no shame turn your back and walk away. Blood dries and chips away. Scabs burn and scar and taste the shame. Die just fade away...die and let innocence rain with new life. Die and let the world breathe again. Die and let the free not sacrifice their love. Die you won't make it home. Your gold is tarnished from millions of wishes and kisses. Die knowing that you turned your back. Die let your heart burst in flame. Die and let the world never forget your pain...die

©2005

synthesis 2.5

©2006

defy their rules and follow the groove

music is your only true freedom, let yourself go...
forget the lies that they tell you, let your mind go...
stand up taste life's sweetness, let yourself go...
music is the peace of this world, enjoy it, let yourself go...
when it's more than the groove you feel, let yourself go...
when you're still dancing as the sun rises, let yourself go...
because you defy their rules, let yourself go...
breaking barriers and taking steps forward, let yourself go...
no one will ever hold you back, because you let yourself go...
©2005

synthesis 2.4

©2006

synthesis 2.3

©2006

synthesis 2.2

©2006

one way

I want to live in a world that you fear,
Not blind to my visions of vanishing faces that won't disappear.
The world in which there are two way streets,
A world were your selfish needs don't always repeat.

I want to dream of more than a home,
That won't leave me; leave me burnt, tired, drowning and alone.
Where trees are the forest that shadow me from a burning sun,
Not the monsters leaning over youth tearing away at life's fun

Same streets hold the same faces
Same town always the same places
Room by room and face each face
Day by day, gone without a trace

A one way street has brought me back,
Were fires burn can't escape but I am not trapped.
Close my eyes stare at my soul,
Like wind swept papers blowing out of control.

I want to live in a world were you don't exist
A world were one could resist.
I want to wake up and put aside all my temptations,
Wake up without all my frustrations.

I want to walk on streets paved in both directions,
Walk into a world without speculations.
I want to eat without poisoning my brain,
Swallow life's greatness without the pain.

I want to sleep in a world were I don’t have to lock my door,
Sleep in a bed in a world I could explore.
I want to live in a world that you fear,
A world where its one way streets will just disappear

©2005

fuck

this and that.
everyone and everything.
left and right.
up and down.
good and bad.
right and wrong.
sitting and standing.
happy and sad.
red and blue.
sugar and salt.
truth and fallacy.
black and white.
hope and reason.
trust and comfort.
plans and designs.
nice and easy.
rivers and mountains.
clean and dirty.
time and space.
in and out.
loud and quiet.
alone and tired.
reality and society.
impulse and ignorance.
big and small.
high and low.
books and magazines.
cause and effect.
pain and injury.
math and science.
thoughts and dreams.
music and art.
me and you
blogs and poetry.
©2005

Four Days of Summer

Stretch arm strong melts in the all day sun. Days on end and the dreaded shouts of moms that call for dinner end the fun. Children drop from trees like leaves in the fall. Bikes racing down the streets like Xmas crowded malls. Laughter dancing like flowers during a rain shower in May. Barbeques cooking that familiar smell a perfect end to another summer day. Marshmallows roasting and celebrations are toasting. Bring back the memories of the times that we all let slip away. Summer the sweet innocence of summer. Let the ice cream man turn onto your street and the game of catch continue after eating those frozen treats.

Sun shining clouds are away and sleeping. Bright blue, a sky full of imagination deep and casts a certain shadow. Young and free green with a fresh smile. Motion a breeze that sweeps new along with the old. Tranquil and energized ready for a moment. Rays catching waves washing cleaning for the next.

So the next has arrived and sun glistens from the sweat that cools each body. Humidity and the haze take a city by storm. Currently the ground shakes and floods in a moment. Time wakes as the shadows fade into a stream of waste. Turning and wiping the steam rises from above the smell, yes that smell of hot pavement and cool rain penetrates the nose quickly all has stopped. Gray breaks and showers of old a whistle wet and a game that was called, the summer takes it shade and passes along.

Wake up cold from the fan. Blowing in from the place where we just had escaped. Windows hold and are the barrier a door open rushes out the cool dry air. Smiles fading turning green to brown. Water supply, rapid breaths choking smog. Polluted rivers and seas of salt. Protection shade swelter aloe and tea iced to melt. Dog days and labor not close yet hold on and revisit the cold and the wind that kept you inside welcome it now but curse it when it arrives 365 just another day to survive.

©2005

synthesis 2.1

©2006

Run to the water

If we could just run to the water...we could swim to shore.
Life washed by wave’s shells line the ocean floor.
Escape an emotion that could embrace the skies
Reflection over the blue and green sea.
White the clouds that build the world.
Rain washes the rust from the empty hearts.
Interests that blend by decay quickly honesty fails to stray.
Pressure from a coin that has been tossed.
Grass of green wind caught has the blades the sight of loss.
Prepare and understand running behind and from a chosen land.
Stumble upon a rock that was a stone.
Each second distracts time alone.
Dance up stream and circle against the grain.
Closely follow undetermined amounts of pain.
Don’t follow and do not lead
The blind have a home and leave them be.
Move on but don't you stop.
Spring forward under the grace of time.
Scribble the words in sand and watch them wash away with foam.
Castles and rivers stand.
Listen to the silence and reason of a spoken hand.
Hear to listen here to stand run to the water and find this uncharted land.
Run to the water swim or set sail.
©2005

who is the blue kangaroo?

So if the blue kangaroo jumps thru the back house and let's the deer and the antelope play who will drive the bus full of penguins on this cool spring night? The rustle of the leaves a snake finds its prey. Under the skin of the dying world an owl watches the night. Who is the one who is restless and fascinated by life? Water from a creek washes away the silence caused by the lack of a breeze stalled by a front that can not pass. Still the air reflects a carbon copy of a shadow. The moon guards the cheese from the mice stalked, a unique part of the food chain. Morning soon will break and the pace will always continue.

©2005

cheese danish

the cafe is closed and nothing to sell, the table without chairs. every door is locked a night box, a safe drop. hunger can't silence the night and a puddle gathers a flood. welcome to tomorrow, a house for you, a home to go to, sleep return again i dare you to dream of coffee and danish.
©2005

fresh air

listen
look
cherish
buy
stop
go
under
control
sit
drop
roll
combust
fire
burn
water
wake
dream
ice cold
taste
sour
rolled
slaw
jaw
quake
bake
drive
rain
insane
trust
must
gone
live
life
question
a mark
on the window
see
pain
have it stain
crush
soul
eyes
see
house
hat
rack
pair
sun
shades
wisdom
gone
night
moon shines
flowers sleep
we dream
a world
for all
to live life
sunrise
river
flows
blood
cut
bandage
life
bleeds
feed
cold
starve
heat
melt
die
dry
pain
cry
over
now
bye

©2005

altar ego

You fuckin…Lied to me
You tried…. to hide from me
You lied …said that you cried for me
Your tears…are dry to me

All these years people call on you
Voices heard from your point of view
Blinded by the lack of sense
Your sheep held behind a fence
Look at me I can see the truth
Not clouded by the lies that pollute

Here I stand where are you?
I’m right here could it be true?
My words are said, make your move
I am for real let me ask are You?

You fuckin…lied to me
You’re lost…and you can’t see
I’m alive…and I’m free
You fuck…you can’t lie to me

You fuckin… lied to me
You tried to …. hide from me
You lied … you never died for me
Your blood…isn’t wine to me

I have this fire burning behind my eyes
Slowly melting your disguise.
Standing between these doors that are gray
The devil I was called I had to laugh that day.
Look at me I can see the truth
Not clouded by the lies that pollute

Here I stand where are you?
I’m right here could it be true?
Take who you will to have your fill.
I’m right here as you hang so still

You fuckin…lied to me
On your knees…so you can’t see
It’s hard to love…when you can’t breathe
You fuck…you should’ve believed in me

Your shit…won’t devour me
Your pain…brings smiles to me
Stand your trial…the jurors will agree
Your lies… won’t deceive me
You’re still fuckin…lying to me
You’re hell…I’m dying to see
Hard to stand…while lying so carefree
You fuck…you’re not inside of me…
©2006

the water from my well...

So I sit here alone the darkness stares me straight in the eyes.
Peace I found and over my shoulder my shadow stares at me.
I stare back but I can only see the blackness of the ghost who I once was.
Yet the air lingers and consumes me with its hollow being.
I struggle to stand, but soon I realize I shall sit to see the world around me.
I question the thoughts that echo outside my true self, can you hear me?
I call out can you tame the wolf that treads near me. Still I stare and the darkness that is my home.
I follow until my path has expired. Save me, hold me; be me, so I can leave.
My window is now open so I escape through the night; don't wait for me I will not return,
I am young and I am free I will tear your control over me. I can step forward and release me from my hell.
Thank you for not caring to share the drink from my well. I can see and I can see those lies beneath, Still I walk a step at a time for all to see. You can’t stop me I am ahead and I will not fail, You put your trust in to me and now it's gone the flower that flourished in the winter’s morn.
I am here and you are gone but no regrets and I am true, true to myself to my whole entire self.
You let yourself down by shutting me out, so I walk 2 steps ahead and leave you behind and I can not look back.
I’m sorry to say this but you cant take me down, I wont be alone and I have what counts. My corner is full of life, Not the hell that we had, thanked you for your pain the tears that hid deep inside.
So 'ill forget your taste and my thoughts will become a waste, as you can feel me now with all my control I can only wish you happiness, and for you to prevail, your next generation you can pass along and keep from being so frail.
We did not fail, but we didn't succeed. Thank you for your time and for your help I am strong and I will never hang my head in shame again
Thank you for you love and fun thru the years but now we are gone and the feelings have just disappeared.

©2004

my chair for you

It’s not my game, I never asked to play
It’s their rules so, you have to do what they say
Sometimes the pieces just don’t ever fit
But, it was heard, that winners never quit.
Outlines, borders on the table where they lie
How do you know if you never tried?

I didn’t have, so it was hard to give away
Strangers laughing didn’t hear a word they say.
On my feet, with no place to go
Didn’t bother me or at least I didn’t want it to show

Quietly I sat myself back down
In a new chair in a different town
Watched as time ticked itself by
Stars drift in the summer’s sky
They asked a question, I told the truth
Money taste of green, empty pocket
Here is my proof.

I met myself a stranger all alone
I hung up, was there anyone on the phone?
An artist view of a moment in time
Three leaf clover and a sun that would shine

Waves broke back over the sea
Amongst the strong the wolf set free
Fire in the eyes hunger through the stare
Whisper silently, a breath of fresh air.

As a creek turns a river and as glass is made from sand
A mountain touched the sky and an arm that holds a hand
The puzzle that forced a picture of a face that wasn’t there
Up on my feet now, yes you can have this chair

©1998

vote?

why? when politicians win...we lose. vote for none of the above!!!

controlling time or is time controlling you?

its all about timing...
how does your mind handle and function with time.
neurons and nanoseconds the human condition.
talent is the ability to control time.
©2006

synthesis 2.0

©2006

synthesis 1.9

©2006

under the stone

turning stones over to see whats underneath.
what crawls under?
what lives under?
what feeds under?
shaded from the light
not shaded from the contrast of life.
if you turn over enough stones
you might even find a gem.
©2006

synthesis 1.8

©2006

A negative

like candle wax melting under open flame
stained along with time.
emptiness filling up an endless void
echos ring with silence.

burned out, strung up, left to dry
tortured questioned.
sinking fast cant swim to shore
open heart bleeds.

gathering like mud in puddles outside
clouds shower away.
darkness casts a shadow over the pure
mirror fades reflections.

burnt up, strung out, left to die
lectured questioned
drowning quick can't stay afloat
heart stops beating.
©2006

synthesis 1.7

©2006

synthesis 1.6

©2006

lost & found

a house with closed windows lets no fresh air in...
without fresh air one can not breathe...
without breathing one can not live...
one who is not living, can not create anything new...

decaying in what is now tired and old
stories that have been said, repeated and told,
they are as stale as the air that one can not breathe.
shaded from behind a life full of disease
alone inside, trapted like dust on a thoughtless floor.
from the outside, the mansion they watch and adore.
little do they know that the outside is just a front.
inside the ghost roam delayed in time on each hunt.
a sacred layer of wishes dreams and desires
scared from the inside out without oxygen there is no fire.
so the sum is two sides without equal parts...
alone is the end when one hasn't left and refuses to start.

a heart that is open brings love and hope into the world...
a world that is full of life and energy will live forever...
a life full of energy opens the minds that surround...
minds that are open can accept what is different and new...

alone without loneliness by ones side
creating a brand new life, escape from the old and tried.
a youth like spirit helps to let go and free ones mind,
in touch with nature discovery a new beginning to find.
outside where the air is fresh and clean,
at the highest peak a bright sun shines a new world is seen.
traveled great distance to return one step ahead
now the future awakens on the right side of the bed.
now that those dreams are beginning to come true
serenity with open eyes a reflection of all that is new.
each moment is now carved in the sands that lay flat
home is now a place much more than where one hangs that hat.

©2005

synthesis 1.5

©2006

synthesis 1.4

©2006

synthesis 1.3

©2006

silence

silence an artist, a canvas is left blank.
silence a scientist, a cure will not be found.
silence a genius, knowledge is lost.
silence a gun, a life, could be saved.

silence a voice, and no one will hear.
silence the music, no one will dance.
silence a visionary, an idea will fade.
silence the lies, and we might, want to listen.

Silence a crowd, and the streets become empty.
Silence a teacher, what could we learn?
Silence a writer, there won't be any ink to dry.
Silence the words of hate, and let us live free.

silence a child, a dream is gone.
silence a poet, all will be mime.
silence a thought, a moment is lost.
silence a politian, then, silence is golden.

©2006

synthesis 1.2

©2006

very berry

when the crackberry regime falls, it will be the blueberry who takes over...

synthesis

©2006